Get Your Mental Mojo Moving!

Dana MyersAs a new mama, I find myself gabbing with other moms about all sorts of “new mommy” topics — sleeping, breastfeeding, teething, sleeping (again), and of course, sex.  Or really, the lack of sex.  It seems that the curse of new mommyhood is a non-existent libido; as if the sexual spark that gets you pregnant in the first place burrows away into some deep, dark hibernation.

One mama said to me, “I just can’t even think about sex.”  Of course, therein lies the problem! Once you stop thinking about sex, it fades out of your life pretty quickly. Now, that’s not breaking news, but it is true. When you stop remembering what sex — and feeling sexy– can do for you, you lose the motivation to make it an integral part of your life.  Whether it’s the life-altering presence of a new baby, the stresses of a high-profile job, a to-do list that’s toppling over, or you’re just stuck in a rut with your lover, it can be challenging to keep the desire alive.  I totally get it. But I’m here to tell you that if you can get sex back on your brain, you’ll have it back in your bedroom in no time.  And I know you’ll feel happier and more satisfied when you do.  I know I do!  So, here’s a couple of quick ideas to get your mental mojo moving again…

  1. Look for visual and mental stimulation every day. There are seductive elements in so many places, you just need to keep your eyes open for them and embrace the opportunities they present. When I hit up the LA Farmer’s Market, the spectacularly phallic carrots and other natural wonders make me giggle and think naughty thoughts.  Staying on the subject of food, I ate a chocolate pot de creme yesterday, and the flavors & texture were so rich that I couldn’t help but feel sensual.  It might be the way a flower opens, or that you catch a scent that reminds you of your hottest one-night-stand. Whatever it is, make it a point to jot down the things you see, hear, smell and feel that please you and make you a little lusty.  Use a mini notebook or an App on your phone and then, a couple times a week, check back and see what you wrote. It’ll remind you of what revs your motor…
  2. Bring out the fantasy lingerie. When I say “fantasy,” I really mean costumes. Naughty nurse. Jail bird. Fluffy bunny. Sexy Mobster. Dressing up in a sexy costume is an instant libido booster.  For most, it means instant sex-on-the-brain because, if it’s not Halloween, why else would you be wearing it except for a sexy bedroom session? It makes you feel a little silly and naughty all at once, and prompts you to think, “Ok, what am I going to do now that I’m in this thing?” Not only will you look foxy, but it’ll be easy to lose yourself in a new role, taking you out of the boredom/stresses of your daily life. It’s an experiment in newness and it will bring on the creativity and a sense of play.
  3. Stock a seductive book. Whether it’s a oversized book of provocative photography or an anthology of sexy stories, make room for a little extra stimulation that’ll move your mind onto something sexier than baby bottles or your grocery list.  At the end of a long day, it might seem easier to thumb through US Weekly, but seeing what Lindsey wore to court won’t deliver you the motivation you need to get your mojo moving.  Reading a short story — be it romantic or kinky — will ignite your imagination and spark up your desire.  Then, it’s up to you to act on the inspiration!

Whether you’re a new mommy, a high-powered business woman, or you’ve just grown complacent in your relationship, I want you to remember how important “sexy” is in your life.  Use these little tips to bring sexy back to your brain, and work to keep it alive.  Because when you’re living as the sexiest, most fabulous and vibrant version of you — with confidence, self-love, and an active pursuit of the sexy satisfaction you deserve — all of your life’s other endeavors will benefit! 

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